It's interesting how gay subculture developed partly as "insider" code. Special vocabulary, cruising behavior, manners of dress, mannerisms, speech, entertainment preferences.

I remember my late partner Lenny, who was 20 years older than me explaining how that "friendly guy who stopped to chat" was cruising me. I had no idea!

Lenny also told me about the "friend of Dorothy" code, the handkerchiefs that had already lost their surreptitious nature because the only people who still wore hankies in their back pockets were gay men.

I remember how easy it was to just ever so slightly exaggerate my mannerisms and voice if I wanted to know if somebody was gay.

If they were, they'd almost always respond by doing the same. Not so much that the casual bystander would understand, but the two of us would, and we'd relax, having recognized a kindred spirit.

Of course, things are different today, and in many ways better. So we gay men are less likely to indentify one another by wielding stereotypes on purpose. But sometimes we still do!

That's an interesting facet of stereotypes, that they were/are sometimes seen (from the insider perspective) as useful tools.

I realize my comment is a bit of a rabbit track off your main point, but you kicked up some memories for me, so please forgive me ramble.

Thanks for the story!