It's hard though, isn't it? The fear is real. I'll never forget the time I was at work and a client commented that I looked really down, like my best friend just died or something.

It was just an innocent, concerned remark, and I should have ignored it or mumbled "I'm fine" or something like that.

But in point of fact, my partner, my de facto husband, had actually just died. I had just going back to work, and I wasn't holding up very well.

So instead of saying nothing, I said, "My wife died last week, actually. I appreciate you noticing that I'm not myself, thanks for that."

Why didn't I say partner or husband? My client was an successful investment banker and a major in the Marine Corps reserves. I could have used the opportunity to maybe spread a little awareness or something. But fear won out.

I don't beat myself up about that, because I don't believe I had an obligation to come out. But I really wish I had!