It’s amazing how many people don’t get this.

I think maybe one of the reasons I pretty much always have understood the problem is that I am a very small man. I’m about as short as a man can be and still be within ‘normal’ variation in the US.

And for most of my formative adult years, I didn’t weigh more than 120 pounds.

Being so short and slight gave me a personal perspective on physical danger. Even though we men are raised to believe we can or should be able to fight off physical threats, that message did not internalize with me. I knew it was unrealistic.

I have felt sexually threatened, harassed, and physically invaded in the company of other (gay) men who were behaving thoughtlessly and disrespectfully.

It’s awful.

This shouldn’t be that hard to “get.”

It really should not.

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.