It seems to me that you are well on your way! You are powerful storyteller, and you have harnessed empathy powerfully in the stories that I've read from you. This story does that, because as much as it's about fictional characters, it's also about you and your cousin.

You had me invested in that relationship from the moment you started describing it. I empathize deeply, because I come from a family that is deeply homophobic.

But even if I didn't come from that sort of family, you made your relationship with your cousin pop off the page.

Thank you for a remarkable piece of writing!