It is indeed a deadly weight for people of my generation. My friends dropped like flies. And it did feel like war.

Sometimes, the ghosts in my head are so loud I can't sleep.

And it's not just their loss that haunts me. It's the indescribable weight of knowledge — the knowledge that so many of my countrymen and peers cheered on our deaths.

That knowledge will torment me until the day I die. That knowledge flavors almost all my interaction with the world, even though of course it's almost all subconscious.

Thank you for sharing your friend with us. I'll mourn her with you.