…y friends can usually tell. It’s an interesting dynamic to witness, and using myself as an example, most people who meet me wouldn’t assume I was gay until I reference it, however for most straight women and I’m sure all other gay men it’s something they would know right away. It’s just a given. Not so much through objective markers but with that whole sense of “gaydar” that…
Allan Rae (alto)
Interesting thoughts, alto.
I can relate quite well to this, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say all gay men would know about me.
Most would, I’m sure.
I think there’s a feedback loop involved. If I get the idea a guy might be gay, I will probably (often without even intending it) start dropping tiny, subtle little clues. He catches those and starts cluing back. My clues get stronger. His get stronger in return. Before you know it, we’re pouring lavender tea and calling each other Mary. Or Dorothy.
That’s without significant sexual attraction existing on either side.
With attraction, then recognition has another path to take, a cruising path like the one I recently described in Sex on the Beach.