James Finn
1 min readDec 12, 2023

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Interesting! Maybe it would be a good idea to include that stat on dating apps.

I'm a gay man, and as a gay man I guess I'm supposed to care a lot about a potential match's penis size. But I don't. (I have other physical preferences, but that particular one isn't important to me.)

I'd be absolutely fine matching with a guy who included a relatively small penis size in his stats, I mean as long as I were otherwise attracted to him. But few guys in the gay world dare to advertise a smaller endowment. (And since it's quite possible to use camera perspective to make a relatively small penis look larger, dick pics don't tell the whole story, even if they're welcome.)

Anyway, it would make sense for guys who are smaller to be up front about that, because then they could get positive reactions and matches from guys like me who are fine with it.

But as much as it makes sense, I think it's a very scary, kind of vulnerable thing to do. There's so much pressure in our culture, and especially in gay male culture, to conform to unrealistic physical appearance standards. (To demonstrate, I almost feel compelled at this point to disclaim that I am not making this comment because I personally have a small penis. I am, in fact, above average in that department. Weird that I feel the need to say that, huh? That's how powerful this stuff is!)

Thanks for the thought provoking story!

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James Finn
James Finn

Written by James Finn

James Finn is an LGBTQ columnist, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Act Up NY, and an agented but unpublished novelist.

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