Indeed, from the time I was about 12 until I was about 16, I presumed that my same-sex attractions (that I had prayed ceaselessly to be removed from me) were proof that I was not saved, and that they probably provided Calvinistic "evidence" that I never could be saved -- that I was not part of the Elect, and was therefore destined to an eternity of conscious torture.

To say I did not grow up healthy and happy would be a gross understatement.