Indeed, and many gay men, perhaps even a majority of us, have defined cheating out of our relationships. We recognize that sexual variety is a positive good, and we agree to a certain amount of extracurricular activity. Every couple has their own rules, but allowing sex outside the primary relationship in some form can strengthen the primary relationship.

It’s only cheating, after all, if it breaks the rules you set for yourself. Making the rules more realistic makes a lot of us happy.