I'm thinking of my friend Howie, leather queen extraordinaire back in the day. Bartending was his calling and startling people with his contradictions was his hobby.

He looked like a Hells Angel but sounded like Marilyn Monroe.

He raised his eyebrows over my Act Up work (thinking it overly dramatic) but quietly raised tens of thousands of dollars a year for God's Love We Deliver. (An HIV services agency.)

He didn't fit into anyone's stereotypes, but he was most the most loyal and loving friend imaginable.

Sorry to ramble, but your excellent story lit a spark of memory for me.