I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Your cousin must have been a beautiful soul.

Stories like his can help us get to a better place, I think. Because why should a young man grow up thinking he can never enjoy true love and intimacy? Why should he feel forced to take his own life?

Homophobia is a vexxing phenomenon. I'm a gay man, so I don't and can't understand the layers of disgust and anger that inform a homophobic person's thoughts and emotions.

I don't feel disgusting to myself.

Yet when people say gay folks "disgust" them, I presume those people are telling the truth.

That's a deep layer of cultural detritus to dig through! Where does the disgust come from? Where does the anger come from that so often results in fists or weapons flying at us?

Just last week in the news, gay men were randomly attacked in several cities in the United States, in Manchester U.K. and in Belfast, Northern Ireland — just off the top of my head.

The thing is that coming out is the most powerful tool to counter the disgust and anger. It's harder to hate a person you truly know or love.

But for gay men like your cousin, taking that step can be too much.

I'm so sorry about that.