I’m quite on board with the idea that kink is a private matter between two people that doesn’t need to be public.
I have to pause for a moment, though, at the idea of polyamory being linked in the same way.
In my experience as a queer activist (and as an early member of Queer Nation, one of the first activists to wear the queer label), freedom to live poly lifestyles has long been part of what we’re fighting for.
Queer is in part an assertion of radical liberation, rejection of the patriarchy and traditional ways of living and being.
Part of that rejection has long included rejection of the notion that monogamy is inherently superior to other forms of loving relationships.
That’s not to say queer liberation means rejecting monogamy; it means rejecting it as the default.
It means embracing diversity in gender and sexual norms.