I'm not transgender, but as a cis/gay man, wow do I ever relate to this!

I also experienced a quite strict change in expectations about touch as I grew up. Instead of enjoying casual physical (but not sexual) intimacy with friends, touch became almost taboo. Hugging a girl was mostly off limits, because that sort of intimacy was only okay in a romantic context and even then quite strictly regulated. (In my conservative religious world.)

And hugging a boy? Utterly impossible. Unthinkable. Taboo. Because of the "the gay," of course.

Check this out!

When I was quite a new adult, I went to a hair salon instead of a barber, for the first time, and I was gobsmacked that I got a scalp massage. I was also thrilled at the unexpected physical sensations. Somebody was touching me! It felt professional, but also kind and empathetic. I almost had an emotional meltdown, I think because I was sort of realizing how touch deprived I was — how much I missed the casual, non-sexual, physical intimacy I enjoyed as a young child.

Later on, fully out as a gay man, and with a big circle of gay friends, I rediscovered that intimacy. When I met with my friends, many of us would rush to hug one another. Sometimes we'd rock each other in a hug just because we could.

It took time for me to get used to that. I had to consciously overcome resistance society had built into me.

I'm so glad I did, and I wish you a lot of success on your journey!