I’m not quite sure I follow the whole McCain thing. She called out a woman who made homophobic jokes about a gay man? That’s good, right? We want people to do that. Making homophobic jokes should be unacceptable.
In your other example, your case is really super clear. If you support politicians and policies that work against equality for LGBTQ people, you’re clearly not an ally and should not claim to be.
It’s like the big corporations (like Target and Walmart) that flew rainbow colors in June while they were giving big money to Oklahoma, Texas, and other politicians who were working against the interests of transgender youth. Corporations who fund our enemies are not our allies, and we should call them out vigorously if they dare fly our colors.