I’m feeling something similar with respect to the pandemic now, but in a slightly different way.

I was very motivated to protect myself from the virus for the last few months, because my father was very ill and I knew that if he got Covid19, that would spell the end for him. So when I went out to shop for us and do all the necessaries, I was extraordinarily cautious. You’d never see me without a mask or keeping a very careful 6-ft plus distance from anyone.

But Dad ended up passing away anyway, from complications due to COPD having nothing to do with the pandemic. Now I find motivation flagging. I’ll find myself wondering into a shop having forgotten my mask in the truck. I’ll walk down the street and forget to keep my distance from people.

Of course I know intellectually that taking precautions is necessary to keep everyone safe, but without the motivation of protecting a very vulnerable person, I’m not feeling it as much.

And I think I really need to work on that!

Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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