I'm a cis gay man often perceived as not presenting as very masculine. Some of my earliest memories are of realizing I was not playing a boy's role properly. My first viral internet story was a little piece I wrote about asking for red flowers for my 10th birthday and being subtly shamed by my family for wanting something more appropriate for girls.

But despite the fact that I'm a little arch, that my voice contains a bit of a lilt that I don't put there on purpose, I've never for a moment in my life wanted to be a girl or a woman, not that there'd be anything wrong with that.

My gender identity is rock solid. I liked being a boy and I like being a man – even as I reject certain stereotypical behaviors and mannerisms. Even if I'm perceived as a bit effeminate.

I know in my heart that no amount of pressure could ever have convinced me otherwise. So it's a mystery to me why people presume that effeminate gay boys and adolescent lesbians would be so malleable – so susceptible to rejecting a fundamental part of their own identity.

It's a panic, really, and not based on reality. If adolescents were just following trends, you'd expect to see high desistance levels later in life – in other words trans-identified people rejecting their trans identity in significant numbers.

But we don't see that. Very good data keeps showing that people who begin gender transitioning in childhood or adolescence are vanishingly unlikely to detransition later.

So where are people getting the idea?

Remember a couple years ago when people were running around screaming and shouting that all the lesbians were disappearing? That they were deciding to become trans men in order to enjoy male privilege?

Well, data put the lie to that talking point too. Lesbians haven't gone anywhere, though some queer women are identifying as bisexual now who might have identified as lesbian in the past, perhaps as part of increased understanding of bisexuality. Trans men don't exist in large enough numbers to have a significant statistical impact on percentages of lesbians in society.

People are smart enough to know who they are. Not only that, but each of us has a fundamental human right to figure out and live our own identities.

Whatever we figure out, it's okay. Most importantly, it's none of anybody else's business.