I'll never forget the time I saw a really handsome guy on the subway. He made eye contact. I returned it a little. Some flirting was happening, but it was very subtle.

I got off at my stop and he got off too. Up on the street, he said very politely, "I don't mean to be pushy, and maybe I misunderstood, but I think you might like my business card. Call me sometime if you want?"

He handed me his card and hustled off down the avenue not even looking back.

I called him the next day.

If he'd been obnoxious or demanding of my attention, I'd probably have blown him off. Walking away from me as quickly as he did sort of reassured me he wasn't some psycho who couldn't take no for an answer.

And his polite sensitivity to possibly being wrong about what he perceived as my receptiveness to flirting was a real plus. This wasn't some arrogant man who was sure he was right or who felt entitled to my attention because he was hot.

He was just a nice guy risking being vulnerable.

I learned later that he'd exited the train one stop early just to try to give me that card. If I'd known that I'd probably have felt a little freaked out.

As it happened, we met for lunch a few days later and became fast friends with benefits. For many years.