If you won’t listen to actual gay people, insisting instead that your own academic experiences are more important, and insisting that you cannot and will not condemn homophobic bigotry, then you have deep moral problems. You’re perpetuating bigotry and hate.
I’m used to Christians like you.
We all are.
What is it about your religion that prevents you from simply condemning the stigmatization of a despised minority? Why must you and so many other Christians waffle and and avoid taking personal responsibility?
You say: “But I am completely convinced that if I had been a gay kid, this kind of ammunition …”
That’s your problem right there. You weren’t a gay kid. You can never know what it feels like to be a gay kid.
Take a lesson from Ken Wilson, a straight Christian minister, and be direct and forthright with gay kids. Take a lesson from John A. Giurin, another straight Christian minister. Or follow the lead of Emily Swan, an LGBTQ Christian minister who who is also direct and forthright.
I can assure you that from what I know of each of the three, none of them would have ever presumed to spread the toxic message you’re spreading.
If you think it’s necessary to imply (as you keep doing) that it might be true that LGBTQ people are not fully moral as they are, then you need to acknowledge that your own experiences as a straight man are inadequate to the task you’ve set yourself.
Then you need to be quiet and make room for people who aren’t going to spread your brand of toxin.