Identity and identify are words with particular meanings, words people use sometimes for a thoughtful purpose.

Parallel to what you’re talking about, I sometimes speak of identifying as gay. But that isn’t usual. I almost always say I am gay.

When I write about identifying, it’s because I have something specific to say in which the construct of identity is important. I imagine you probably do something similar.

How frustrating it must be to see that constructive usage weaponized against you.