I wrote it as a contribution to the “femmephobia” conversation that’s taking a lot of space in gay and bi communities today.

Is is just me, or was femmephobia in our day significantly less pronounced than lots of gay men say it is today? I’ve never been particularly effeminate, but after the military, I pretty much dropped my butch mask. In my hay day, I had tons of distinctly effeminate gay friends, including more than a few flings. I never noticed back then gay men on the effeminate side reporting problems caused by more masculine gay men discriminating against them.

But the issue seems big today, especially with IG and other social media idealizing muscular good looks and hyper masculine presentation.