I would suggest their worlds are so small they're defined by who they disapprove of. They need to set themselves apart as better by defining a group of people who don't make the grade.

I hear you. I'm used to this sort of phenomenon myself. I have been all my life, and by all my life I'm talking about from the time I was so young I had no idea what gay meant — let alone know that I was.

People talk about micro-agressions, and what you're describing sort of fits that definition. It's kind of a low-level simmering of disapproval, isn't it?

It seems to me that it's not as bad as when I was a kid. Things are getting better. Slowly. But ... it's still difficult to experience, and it's one of the reasons our communities love Pride fests and queer meccas.

Most of us don't even realize what a relief it is to be free from the low-level simmering until we're actually free from it -even if only temporarily.