I wore a wedding ring for most of the 1990s, and did it ever confuse people! Well, I should clarify that it confused people mostly outside our densely populated gayborhood of Chelsea and Greenwich Village in NYC.

People there would see my stereotypical attire, take in the wedding ring, and add things up pretty easily.

But when I traveled, I'd sometimes get polite questions about my wife. Often in such circumstances I'd mumble noncommittally or change the subject.

I'd always feel more comfortable getting back home, where my stereotypes were mainstream culture and I didn't have to worry about my safety — at least not with respect to strangers realizing I was gay.

Things are better now, I think. Getting better. I join you wishing for the day to come quickly when safety considerations don't drive how we express ourselves!