I was really surprised a few years ago when I wrote a column about masturbation, specifically addressed to gay and bisexual men, debunking a fadish idea that masturbating to porn must cause irreparable damage to sexual relationships with partners. (The idea had to do with visual neurology circuits being damaged permanently. No real medical evidence ever backed this up, but it became a popular cautionary tale for a while.)

Anyway, the article got a pretty good response, but I was quite surprised to receive a few rather passionate (angry) comments from women taking me to task for "encouraging" men to masturbate, which they claim is unacceptable because it constitutes cheating on one's spouse.

I guess I live a sheltered gay life, chuckle, cuz I had never even heard that before.

I mean, both my husbands and I (I wasn't married to two men at the same time. My first partner died, and I partnered again later.) had a pretty standard reaction if we walked in on the other masturbating. "Want some help with that or would you prefer privacy?"

OK, so once or twice it might have gone like, "Dinner will be ready in 10. Make sure you wash your hands first!" Lol

I think comments to my story were my first ever experience with the idea that some married people might object, sometimes strenuously, to their partner masturbating.

But these people weren't kidding. They were very angry.

I can't wrap my mind around it.