I was living in West Berlin in 1989 and taken just as much by surprise as everyone else that night the Wall came down. I think I spent close to 72 hours not sleeping, alternately dancing in the streets, taking a hammer and chisel to the Wall, and nervously eying heavily armed (very young) East German border guards in their towers as they eyed fearless boys running back and forth through no man’s land.

Worry aside, euphoria was the order of the day as a city violently separated by irrational political hatred reunited.

Family members separated for years or decades were able to embrace by just walking across a border when the day before those teenage guards in the towers would have shot them to death for trying.

Euphoria soon melted into reality, however, as the long hard struggle to unify the nation began. East Berliners wandered the western portion of the city looking at fresh fruit and other food that was always in short supply in the east. Their money was worth nothing, and euphoria-induced generosity only lasted so long.

You wouldn’t know that today if you visited the reunited city. If you pay attention, little clues will tell you if you’re in what used to be East Berlin or what used to be West Berlin. All in all, however, it’s one city, and Germany is one nation.

Only by talking to the people and listening to their stories can you get a sense of the decades-long struggle that made reunification an equitable reality instead of just a theoretical one.

I hope one day well I’m still living I can say the same thing about lgbtq equality and equity in places like the United States, Germany, and South Africa.