I tried to write about this once from the perspective of my developing a crush on a hot transmasculine YouTube personality. The guy is hawt. I'd date him if he weren't totally out of my league and taken. All I was trying to say with the story is that if I decided intellectually that I couldn't be attracted to him because he was trans, that would be the definition of transphobic. I specified that I don't know what's in his pants and that I may or may not be sexually compatible with him based on my own (private) preferences and practices in the bedroom. Most people had no trouble understanding that, but a loud minority sure did scream and shout as they ran in circles protesting that they'd never date a trans person and how dare I suggest that makes them transphobic.

Sigh.