I think your is reasonable in light of pervasive, endless Christian persecution of queer people in the United States. It's 2024, and Christian leaders can't stop railing against us. Christian lawmakers can't stop working hard to persecute us.

This is an almost unresolvable conflict, and I can understand how as a Christian that would make you feel extraordinarily conflicted.

I'm thinking about the horrifying document that Pope Francis put out the other day from the Vatican. He made it clear that the Catholic Church will always consider gay people to be depraved and disordered. That's exactly how disgusting and evil most Christians are. (Recall that Francis is supposed to be a friend to gay people, even as he condemns us as sinners and as disordered. The pope's views Iechoe that of the Archbishop of Canterbury, the leader of the global Anglican Communion, who declared last year that we gay people are sinners and that will never change. This is how sickening most of Christianity is, how cruel and evil most Christian leaders are.)

I'm sorry you don't have a place to feel at home. Christianity is to blame for that, and Christians have so much to make up for if they would ever decide to turn into decent human beings.