I think I would like your brave grandson, Dennett. :-) Sounds like your family is truly lovely. :-)
One tiny quibble. You say:
As for churchy people, if they choose to believe whatever hate-filled rhetoric is taught by their religion, okay, believe whatever you want …
I won’t even go that far. It’s not OK to believe anti-LGBTQ theology. Even if they keep it in their churches, they’re still hurting people, perhaps most especially their own children, who have no choice about the religious indoctrination they receive.
So for me, it’s not OK that they hold anti-LGBTQ beliefs even if they try to keep those beliefs out of the public square. Their beliefs are morally evil, and good people must condemn the beliefs and the teaching of them.
I don’t think any progressive person would ever say about a racist or an anti semite that it’s if they choose to believe the hate-filled rhetoric of their religion. Instead, we’re shocked by those beliefs. We denounce those beliefs with full throat. We socially shun and loudly condemn the people who hold those beliefs.
What I don’t understand is what makes homophobia less wrong to most people than other forms of bigotry. Why aren’t we standing up and vigorously condemning religiously based homophobia?
Why does it get a pass when racism doesn’t?
Understand that I’m not trying to criticize you. It’s just that I feel so frustrated every day to see religious institutions being given free passes for beliefs that are as outrageous as other beliefs that most people won’t tolerate for even a moment.