I think a really important underlying issue here is that maybe we need to not think about sex as penetration and think about it as a whole spectrum of experiences.
I mean as a gay man, obviously I can’t advise people not to use lube because it doesn’t really work that way for us.
But the principle is the same. The best sex is the kind that is all body and all experience. The kind where your skin plays as big a role as your genitals.
The kind where you take your time, because foreplay isn’t just something you’re doing to prepare but something that is pure pleasure in and of itself.
Those are my thoughts, anyway, for what they’re worth.