I once had a business partner who attended a Catholic high school in the late 60s, early 70s. He described many brutal beatings he and almost all his peers regularly received from the Christian Brothers who staffed the schools. His reaction was much like yours. He resented that it happened, and he recognized the seriousness of the matter. but he felt unable to blame anyone despite the fact he was often struck so hard he was bruised and twice so hard he bled.

His therapist told him to let go of his excuses and blame the monks, that to heal he had to recognize savagely beating a child is an act of evil no child deserves, least of all him.