I once determined not to become an accomplished cook because I was afraid doing so would fulfill anti-gay stereotypes. I didn’t wanna be that flaming queen in the kitchen who threw fab parties with perfect taste and homemade hollandaise.

All that changed when I started to cook for my husband and the people we loved. Cooking became important to me because it gave me that love language you speak of.

Not for many years did I understand that the gay stereotypes I was afraid of were rooted in sexism and misogyny, that men were not supposed to be in the kitchen because feeding a family was not considered as valuable or important as working outside the home.

I’m glad I got over that misconception! I love cooking, and would never want to be shamed out of it, especially not for sexist reasons.