I love your point about language evolving, which is so important. Honestly, I don't know which I find more irritating, the argument that they/them pronouns should not be used because traditional gender ideas should prevail, or the argument that grammar rules must ... rule.

I'm passionate about language, speaking and reading several, besides reading about historical linguistics at night for fun. (Yeah, that's how big a nerd I am.)

So I know up close and personal how much language changes, how quickly it happens, and how arbitrary grammar rules are.

I've also learned over the years how much prescriptivist grammar in English has a history of classism, racism, and even sexism.

Perfectly ordinary English usages, native to the language (like the singular they/them among many other examples), have sometimes been suppressed or painted in a negative light in ways that are practically, deliberately meant to uphold hierarchies of class, race, and sex.

Your lawyer acquaintance from the beginning of your story is a perfect example. How quick he was to weaponize grammar to enforce his own superior place on the hierarchy.

I see this a lot, even when it has little or nothing to do with trans issues. I think it's something we all need to be conscious of and resist.

Thanks for your story!