I have two fairly close women friends in your shoes. Both of them are bisexual, married to men, and have children.

Both if them are out to many people. They bring their own identity up casually sometimes when LGBTQ subjects are raised in conversation. They don’t make a big deal of it, they just ordinary conversation.

Like, “Oh, yes, I can really relate to that because I’m bi. I gives me perspective.” That sort of thing.

So their friends and relatives are pretty “in the loop.” That’s good for my friends and for the people who know them. Everyone gets comfortable with the subject as something that isn’t all “third rail.”

And with their children? Well, I’m thinking of my one friend now whose kids are all teenagers. She raised her kids to be open about sexual subjects. She talked to them about sexual issues casually and naturally, at age-appropriate levels as they were growing up. She spoke to them about orientation and gender identity as if those subjects were as ordinary as what toppings to put on sandwiches.

So when the time came, she dropped her own orientation into the mix, because it was the ordinary and expected thing to do. As far as I can tell, her children reacted as casually as she talked about things.

Here’s hoping your own experiences go as well!


Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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