I fear sometimes that winning the legal right to marry and have children has spawned a sort of obligatory sense of heteronormativity among some lesbians and gay men. This is actually exactly what I feared in 1999 when the push toward legal same-sex marriage started in earnest.

Marrying and raising children is wonderful for people who want that. I’m not trying to suggest otherwise. But we should all try to remember that queer people are diverse and have varied expectations and hopes in life. It’s important to respect and embrace people who don’t choose a heteronormative path.