I don't know if I'm exactly a sexuality writer, though I do write about sex sometimes when I'm writing about LGBTQ issues. I mention my preferences sometimes, though I don't make a big deal about it.

I like lean men with runner's bodies. I prefer a man with blond or sandy hair. I prefer not too much body hair. To get a little bit maybe too personal, I prefer a man who is circumcised and of moderate endowment. Not too big, not too small.

I give some credence to the sexuality imprinting theory that says those preferences hardened in me during my sexual awakening. Not everybody agrees with imprinting theory, but it seems reasonable to me, or at least it falls in line with my personal experiences.

The first two boys I fell in love with or had sexual experiences with as a teenager met those descriptions. If I fantasize, those are the sorts of traits I would fantasize about.

But here's the thing. The first love of my life was a big, hairy bear of a man, and not lean at all. The second had coal black hair, was uncircumcised, and rather huge if you get my drift.

Neither of the two men fit inside my ideal preferences, but that didn't stop me from falling in love with them. I might not have sought their body types out in a porno, and the mere sight of them might not have set me vibrating ... at first ... but love and sex are mysterious things.

Doesn't the person you crush on become the most beautiful person in the world to you? It kind of works that way for me.

This is complicated, though. At some point, the borders of preference cross over into the borders of indelible orientation. I don't know what I would do if I fell in love with a man who did not have a penis. Or who had breasts.

I'm sure I would try to be open-minded, but I don't know how my body would respond. Some response to sexual stimulus is unconscious, involuntary, and not much subject to change.

As long as people are doing their best to be kind and loving, I think that's what we should expect of them. Personal sexual preferences need to be respected as intimate and outside the realm of public criticism.

In my opinion.