I could not agree more.

I have to tell you in all sincerity and transparent honesty that I’m viscerally afraid of Christians.

I really am. Instinctually.

I’m a gay man. I grew up in Baptist churches.

I know first hand how bad things are. How vicious the homophobia is. It frightens me.

Now, I know intellectually that lots of Christians are perfectly lovely people. I know of entire congregations and denominations that are affirming and loving.

I have dear Christian friends who are clergymen.

Yet still…

If I’m walking down the street and see a person wearing a fish emblem or a cross?

The first thing I feel is a frisson of fear. I want to cross to the other side of the street. My body pulls me against my will.

For me, Christianity is all about persecution and oppression. It’s all about being branded a sinner. It’s all about self-righteous people saying that they won’t serve a sick bastard like me in their shop.

I experience Christianity (and I’m sorry this sounds harsh but it’s a very personal, intimate thought) as being a force of darkness and hatred.

I’m viscerally afraid of Christians in general. I am. And my fears are grounded in reality.

It’s not paranoia when they’re really out to get you.

In fact, I recently wrote about my complicated relationship with Christianity here on Medium.

Ironically, my piece attracted a response from a self-described pastor and evangelist just this morning who felt moved to tell me that I need to repent and that I’m possessed by demons. I understand he’s probably just some Internet troll. Sadly, though, his sentiment mirrors Christian sentiment I experience all the time — for real.

Hence my fear of Christians, my urge to cross the street and avoid them.

Jim

Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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