Have you tried Tinder? In its gay iteration, it tends to be less of a cruel meat market than Grindr or Scruff. I have a gay “nephew” about your age, whom I’ve been friends with since he was a first-year uni student, who has found two really serious boyfriends using Tinder. One of them turned out to be a jerk, but you know, I guess that’s how it goes. But the guy he’s currently seeing looks like he might be the real thing.

As for myself, before I moved up to the wilds of northern Michigan, I lived in Detroit. I used meetup.org to hook up with social groups who shared my interests, speaking French and writing fiction. Given that for whatever reason those interests tend to attract more gay men than average, I ended up meeting some really nice gay guys that way. A friend of mine did the same thing with a monthly wine-tasting group.

I’ve also known guys who’ve attended gay-friendly churches like the MCC so they can meet gay people who weren’t just out cruising. I understand that might not appeal to many gay people who don’t particularly like Christian values, but I could also suggest the Unitarian Universalist Church, which is not Christian and which attracts a disproportionate number of queer people.

Hope some of these suggestions help!