Great article! I love how you combined a little theory with specific examples of polyamory.

In my experience, we gay men are less likely than other people to tie ourselves into sexually or romantically exclusive couples. I’ve never been in a totally monogamous relationship, and I don’t think I’m terribly unusual for gay men.

Maybe that’s cultural? Maybe having been on the outside so definitively, we felt more free to design our own models for being together. Maybe having to rebel just to come out made us more willing to rebel about other things.

I worry that legal same-sex marriage is tempting some younger gay men to go along with heteronormative concepts of relationships without putting much (or any) critical thinking into it. I don’t have any data, but it feels to me like gay men today are more likely to presume polyamory or open relationships are morally wrong.

If that really is a trend and if it continues and strengthens, I think we will have lost something valuable and important.