Great answers! I actually had a situation not too long ago where a clerk at a convenience store in my extremely rural and isolated Michigan village appeared to me to be queer.

They were sending very genderqueer messages with their clothing and personal grooming choices. I did not ask them if they were trans, knowing that might put them in a spot, but solidarity out here is kind of a big deal.

So I said, listen I don’t mean to be intrusive but I’m LGBTQ and I write about queer issues. Your wristband makes me think you might be too?

Their response was, oh my God that’s so cool. I’m trans non-binary.

So I guess what I did was try to ask without asking specifically if they were trans.

I don’t know if it was necessarily the right thing to do, but we have struck up a casual friendship and that sort of thing is precious out here.

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Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.

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