Good thoughts! Something else the Bens of the world might want to think about is that many LGBTQ people advertise their queerness merely by existing.

Trans people most obviously come to mind, because most trans people don't "pass."

But many gay people don't either, and not passing is often not their conscious choice. "Just blending in" is much more possible for conventionally masculine men than for guys who seem to have been born with a little extra fruit in their boot or lilt in their voice.

They don't have to run around telling people they're gay to take shit, just like trans people don't have to tell people they're trans. They really don't have an option to take a break.

It's great that people like Ben can relax sometimes and put the burden down. I'm just saying it would be nice for them to remember that not everybody can.