Gender roles in gay male communities can also be policed (informally but actually) pretty strictly. We gay men can be almost obsessive about classifying ourselves as top, bottom, vers, side, etc. While those classifications don't always carry strict expectations of gender performance, they certainly can and often do.

The effeminate gay man is usually presumed to be a bottom, and if he's not, other gay men will find it odd at least.

Oh, there's plenty of talk about how we shouldn't stereotype, but we still do, I suppose because heteronormative culture is so pervasive.

That's without even mentioning a certain newfangled disdain for effeminacy among many gay men, a related but somewhat different topic, but also rooted in heteronormativity.

Interesting area of discussion. Thanks for the story!