Funny. I tolerated my boyhood too. Even though from (literally) my 10th birthday, I understood that my parents were disappointed in me in some mysterious way I couldn't understand, I don't look back on my childhood as horrible.

I'm not transgender, so I don't want to make our stories super parallel or anything, but I still relate to a lot of what you wrote.

As a little kid, I didn't hesitate to read books for girls. I read books for boys too, and I did some traditionally boyish things. But the thought of growing up to be like my father and uncles ... baffled me more than anything.

Given the choice, you'd always find me playing with my girl cousins rather than my boy cousins. I just felt more comfortable and more me.

In a healthier world, kids growing up like that would be nurtured and encouraged. I mean, my parents never bullied me with cruelty. I enjoyed a loving home where all my needs were met and where I felt safe.

Except that I often or almost always felt ... disapproved of.

The disapproval was rarely put into words, but it always hovered in the background. I never had the slightest doubt that I was Other.

That's not a healthy way to grow up, for you, for me, or for any child.