From one quirky, sensitive, bookish, gay son to another, I wish to tell you how very sorry I am, even though you say you’ve transcended your negative experience.

I wish I could have shared my own father with you, who until he died last August, was my biggest champion and lifelong friend, despite that I know my turning out gay and bookish must have disappointed him on some very basic level.

But despite the fact that we should not have been close, we were, and I was with him right up until the end, holding his hand and listening to his last breaths.

My dad got over his disappointment and became the best father he could. I grieve immeasurably that yours could not or would not. And of course you already know, but that’s his loss his problem and never yours.