Everyone is different in a crisis, Julien. I don’t know exactly how you behaved, of course, but your actions seem right on target.

Water, Band-Aids, weed, caring concern. That’s what I’d want! (Well, maybe minus the weed. I find it makes me feel worse if I’m in pain from an injury.)

Perhaps your partner wanted a little more soothing and warmth? I don’t know. I’m neurotypical (I assume) but I find it hard to cope when I’m around a person experiencing a lot of pain.

I think I often react just like you. I shut my own emotions down because they’re too strong for me, and I try to be as efficiently helpful as possible.

Not everyone behaves that way, but I know more than a few people who do.

I think you’re doing fine. I fell off my bicycle last spring and hurt myself badly. (Fred Shirley remembers!) I wish I’d had you around then. Sounds like you’ve got it together.


Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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