Astonishingly or not, this even applies to some gay men. Some of us get really tied up in the knots about the whole top/bottom thing, believing we should shoehorn ourselves into particular sexual roles. Sometimes that has to do with toxic ideas about masculinity, that being penetrated is not masculine.

Gay men are not exempt from feeling homophobic about themselves or even about other people.

And sometimes that means we miss out on pleasure in the bedroom. Of course, I guess I should also point out that not everybody likes anal play, and sometimes it’s just because they don’t like it.

It can be pretty intense, and a certain percentage of men just find it too intense.

Different strokes, as it were. Cough.