As I read this, I remember feeling grief-stricken decades ago, and feeling comforted when some of my Jewish friends asked me if I would like them to come over and sit Shiva for my departed husband.

They didn't stop and wonder whether they should be kind despite the fact that I wasn't Jewish myself. They did not Other me because Lenny and I had been a committed gay couple.

And I should probably add they were the same freewheeling, free-thinking intellectuals and advocates for human rights who often fiercely debated (usually disapproving of) Israeli government policy toward the Palestinians.

Most of them are gone by now, and in a way I'm glad. Because I don't know if they could bear the pain of their broken hearts.