As an autistic gay man raised Evangelical, I appreciate your perspective very much. The sexual shaming you're conditioned with in church is very hard to overcome, isn't it? Especially when you're wired to seek order and sense in lists of rules they don't need to be negotiated with.

Of course, things were a bit different for me as a Baptist boy, given that I was presumed to be highly sexual while "good" girls were presumed not to be. It was just the gay part that threw a spanner in the works!

People need to lighten up about sex. Straight sexuality is presumed and celebrated in our society – in millions of public ways every day, in entertainment, advertising, and just ordinary social interactions. It's so pervasive we don't notice it most of the time. We let it fade into the background.

But people DO notice queer sexuality, even when it's no more (and sometimes much less) overt than heteronormative sexuality.

For example, a community in Texas might get outraged over an all-ages drag show with little to no erotic content, while not even batting an eyelash at the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders shaking their booties in revealing costumes during a nationally televised football game.

It's all right to be sexual. Most people are, after all. (No offense meant to my ace friends.)

We queer people deserve the same sense of "all right" ordinarily presumed for non-queer sexuality.