As a volunteer administrator on what is probably the largest Facebook group for “woke” queer people, I run into aphobia and biphobia so often. (Don’t even ask about thoughtless transphobia.)

I don’t get it. I don’t understand why some people are so invested in invalidating other people’s lived experiences.

I think back to my own life. I learned as a child to be homophobic. I had to struggle out of that mindset by fighting to validate my own personal truth.

So it only seemed natural later that I should validate and support the personal truths of lesbians, trans women, and later trans guys once I realized they existed.

So when bisexual people and asexual people share their lived truths with me, why should I not be as engaged and empathetic as with anyone else?

At the very worst, I could only imagine being quiet, not wanting to understand, not wanting to engage.

But overt hostility? Dismissal? I don’t get where that comes from.

But I see it every day.

It’s really discouraging.

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.