As a gay man who thought of himself for years as a top, I agree wholeheartedly.

My first experience trying to bottom was horrible. My partner and I were young and inexperienced and had no idea what we were doing.

That put me off the whole idea of bottoming for a very long time. I bought into the notion that gay men are divided into naturally occurring top and bottom categories, and just decided I was a top.

I thought that was like nature or something.

And frankly, I was perfectly happy with oral sex anyway.

It took a patient lover, plenty of lube, and lots of practice for me to figure out what I was missing.

And as you describe so well, I was missing quite a lot!

Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store