As a cis gay man who has been a transgender ally for pretty much as long as I’ve been out as gay, one of the most interesting concepts I’ve come across lately is the importance of decoupling acceptance from ideology.

Whether we’re talking about trolls or gatekeepers, I suppose one of the most important things to understand is that you don’t have to understand an identity to respect a person. When I first encountered the idea of non-binary or genderqueer identities several years ago, that’s what got me through a period of curiosity and questioning.

Being curious was fine as long as it was coupled with respect and love for the people involved.

I don’t suppose that’s a particularly profound thing to say, but it seems to be something more than a few people have a big problem with. I wish that were not so.