Among gay people, breeder has always been something more than slang. It has a distinctly pejorative flavor and used to be pretty much a slur. (It became popular during a time when anti-gay slurs were common, and "breeder" was often used as a clapback.)

I don't think its slur power came so much from a distinction between recreational and procreative sex. It had more to do with expressing a sentiment that homophobic people were valuable only for their breeding capability, while implying that queer people are smarter, more valuable, or better in other ways.

So, we don't really use it anymore. I think it was just too negative and ugly. You'll still see it now and then, but primarily by older gay men who haven't got the memo.

Anyway, Thanks very much for your story, and I just wanted to kick in to clarify a little bit from personal experience about the term breeder in queer communities.